Good Bye Blog

I've decided to take down this blog. After careful analysis i decided its not good for me to think that everyone wants and needs to read about my personal life. Living in the city gives one a big ego and an inflated sense of self importance. Blogging does nothing but add to my growing self awareness and I think i need to be vigilant about growing spiritually and intellectually, especially in this denizen of masturbatory self-obsession.

So, in short, Im just leaving this message to say good bye and then im going to take it down in a week or so. This has got to be, in some way, unhealthy for me.

course i'll still probably pop by to say hi now and then on that other one, 'wild child playground'. I wouldnt want you guys to miss me too much.

Sex With Girls

Is so damn good.

Not that I've had any lately. Here's the thing...vaginas are just so damn cool. Your own is a little creepy, though. I mean, I don't really get guy's obsessions with their own junk. I find nothing sexual about my own bits. But you have to admit, the subtle intricacies surrounding a woman's body is, even on a subconscious level, really sexy.

Having said that, I don't think I would ever date a woman. Simply because of my personal experiences with the difference in the way men and women's mind work. For instance, around the attitude of the relationship. On more than one occasion I've sat around with a bunch of girlfriends, dishing on how lame the relationship is, or listening to someone else dish, about the fundamental problems in their relationships. And their male partners are always blissfully unaware until one day BOOM! the bomb gets dropped. So I'm starting to think that maybe women just anticipate possible situations beforehand more often and thereby internalize one of those scenarios while men tend to deal with the real and current. Maybe I'm wrong? Don't hate me for this.

So I think that me, for instance, dating a woman would be a problem because we'd both deal a lot with the possible and we'd probably both have a lot of secret thoughts, even if we talked. Because I talk to people all the time, but I always have secret thoughts, sometimes pertaining to that exact person or situation. It doesnt make me two faced but it's because im always operating on several different levels, a few of which are hypothetical.

I kind of take solace in the way the male mind deals with things sometime. And I'm not just going to limit this to gender because for sure there are women who think more in the here and now and men who operate more in the possible and hypothetical and future, but in my experience they usually conform to genders.

What do you think? Do you think that gender plays a role in the mental?

And the Award For Lamest Porno Ever Goes to...

" 9 Songs", which for some reason I thought had Maggie Gyllenhaal in it but did NOT.

GIVE ME THOSE TWO FUCKING HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK YOU STUPID LAME PORNO POSING AS A LAME ART FILM! AND BUY ME ANOTHER PORNO TO MAKE UP FOR IT! I SPENT FIVE BUCKS ON THIS SHIT!@

seriously. I have never felt so violated and embarrassed while witness a sex act before. Everything about this movie was wrong. If you liked this movie, come to Vancouver so I can have something to project my INTENSE HATRED on to!!!!


FUCK!

Like Pulling Teeth

I'm trying to get motivated to learn how to use my recording programs because I have a sweet soundcard and no idea how to use it. So I spent about an hour today fiddling with shit and I don't know that I made the song my friend helped me to record any better, but I did take this lame guitar distortion and make it waay better! (I dunno how, i fucked with the wave or something.)

Ok because im super lazy its my goal this week to play guitar for six and a half hours. I know that's not even an hour a day but right now im really undisciplined and when I dont feel like playing the guitar, I dont. This week; 6.5. Next week :10.

So far I'm at 1.5 and it's thursday. Wish me lucK!

Rock your ass off.

I don't have much time, just these few silent moments in the morning before I scurry off to work. I'm not looking forward to the day because after the Tory victory I think it will be very stressful. More people may stop to ask what I'm out there doing for the NDP since the election is over but I think more people will try to blame us. I heard shadows of it before the election, people saying they were angry at Jack Layton for pulling the sponsorship scandal re-election thing because now the tories had more of a chance. People were SO afraid of a conservative government. Well, I guess you have to face your fears sometime.

Maybe this is what we need. The liberals were sitting on the fence, making us not entirely happy with our democracy, but too apathetic, too impartial to care or do anything except complain. I hope that Stephen Harper goes crazy in parliament. Let's see him try to reverse gay marriage and consolidate us with the US, let's see him volunteer our young men to die in other people's overseas wars. Maybe a little riot action in the streets is what sleepy Canada needs to get some fuckin' respect around here. Maybe what the Canadian people need to get some fuckin' respect is to take a little action, not something we're best known for.

I blew fire with kerosene yesterday. It was scary and awesome. I got like a five foot flame apparently. I'll take a picture somtime and show you guys. the flame moved along the stream of my breath a lot faster than when i'd used overproof rum, so i could literally see this fire moving to ward my mouth as I blew. But nothing bad happened.

Kerosene is suprisingly tasteless and non offensive. But man, does it start to burn your skin after awhile. Not in the mouth, but my chin felt raw after wiping the kerosene off it like ten times. But it's fine today so no harm done I guess.

I feel stuck. I guess it's the winter. I feel like I'm backpedalling and not getting anything done no matter what I get done. As a result, I haven't gotten much done. And what is there to do?

Step up and rock, I guess. It's never to late to rock your ass off.

AH FOR FUCKS SAKE~!

What?

The conservatives won??
Oh, fer fuck's sake!

..1984, here we come (grumble grumble)

I hate bus drivers

Have i ever told you how fucking much I hate bus drivers?

They are such cock suckers. They're always mean and bitter and never helpful. You ask them a simple question but because they have to deal with losers all day they answer your simple question with a very snarky "I DON'T KNOW!" Ive seen bus drivers yell at pre teens and refuse to pick them up. Ive seen bus drivers forget to let people off at stops and then show no mercy about it. Bus drivers are always just so bitchy! You're in a fucking union people youre not working at McDonald's for minimum wages so get a fucking life. If you dont like dealing with people, GET A DESK JOB.

Ok I will admit that this rant is brought on by the fact that some guy just kicked me off the bus because i forgot my bus pass. And I really do have one, and I really did just forget it. You know how much a bus pass costs every month? SEVENTY DOLLARS. You know how much a one time fare is? Two dollars and twenty five cents. For two ways thats Four dollars and fifty cents! And thats a fuck of a lot of money.

Anyway. I wanst going anywhere important so i (embarrasedly) let the guy kick me off the bus. but i've ridden the bus like a hundred times without a fare by politely asking (This was before my bus pass days) "I havent got a fare today, but may i please have a ride?"

mostly im mad that I fought the law and the law won, but whatever. Bus drivers are always bitter jerks in general. Why cant you be friendly, dammit? Most of us have to deal with jerks every day too so suck it up.